Some of the negative things I’ve read from people who have visited the island are laughable. If you look hard enough for something, you’re going to find it, or at least something that resembles it. This holds true anywhere. That’s what I believe to be the case in many of these ‘horror stories’. If you assume everyone is criminal, all of a sudden everyone starts to look scary. If you assume everyone is lovely, eventually you start seeing smiles. You’re responsible for the positive and negative things you manifest. Koh Tao – or as it’s been so grossly referred to ‘Death Island’, has done nothing but give me life since I first visited in 2016. It pulls me back in, and I think it always will. Like Peter Pan to Never Neverland, Koh Tao is an oasis, a safe haven to the ones who had the balls to question their white collar existence, who knew there was something better out there.

I feel more found, whole, and appreciated on this tiny island in the middle of Thailand than I ever have before. I am seen for the first time as a legitimate version of my growth. This isn’t your hometown; no one here has preconceived ideas of who you should be and because of that you’re able to blossom fully into the thing that you are. If you stick around long enough and make a genuine effort, you will be remembered, and the welcome back is warmer than the sun on Sairee Beach in the middle of June. This place has heart, along with a pretty breathtaking face.

I found it so hard to maintain the laid back mentality I’d established here when I returned to Canada. It felt expected of me to stress out like I used to and was hard to shake this mold everyone had of me in their mind. It took a lot of time and energy before I was acknowledged as changed, and even now I fear if I were to go back long enough, I might lose the ‘me’ I’ve become so fond of. For this reason and many others I’ve decided to build my home here, at least for the time being.

At the moment, this is where my heart feels it’s most full. I am cared for here by people I share real interests with. I am constantly motivated to better myself by those around me who have themselves together, there is passion around every corner by friends who have made a living doing the things that they love. Money is not the motivator as most of us make a wage that would probably have you giggling, instead life is. Happiness is why we’re here; my paycheck isn’t what gets me through the week, it’s the sunsets.

I get to run into my friends all day long, from the moment I leave my bungalow and walk bare foot to breakfast, to when we all sit together with a beer watching the sky turn down. After working in a city, you begin to understand how rare and special that is. Even if it’s just a brief ‘what’s up?’, you’re surrounded by your one big, mismatched family, and it’s such a valuable feeling.

I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to say “This is my life.” It’s a feeling I wish I could share with everyone I hold close to me. The fact is, so many of the people I love, the ones I know more than anything truly would appreciate a place like this, will find an excuse not to book the flight. It will be money, work, time, or maybe even one of these bogus reviews I’ve read, it’s a mindset I desperately wish I could change. For now I’ll do my best to share with them pictures, stories and little words of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way, with hopes that they’ll do it some justice, although I know they never will.

Thinking back, I have no clue who I would be now had I not walked into Goodtime Hostel two years ago, and I thank God I’ll never have to know.