Rather than deny the parts of myself that aren’t so friendly, I try to appease them. I am, as many of us are, equally introverted as I am extroverted. I can be both the life of the party- and buzzkillington. Maybe it depends on the moon, my star sign, pms, who knows, even I, at nearly 26, can’t tell you what sort of a mood I’m going to be tomorrow, I chalk that up to fate. As you can imagine, living on a tropical island, densely populated with backpackers isn’t always a walk in the park, but I’ve established a pretty satisfying life for myself here out of a mass amount of trial and error. For the sake of transparency, and also because I’m asked so often ‘how I do it’, I’ll share some of my greatest tips.

1. First and foremost – OWN THAT YOU ARE HUMAN

You’re a collection of blood, bones and organs yes, as well as thoughts, feelings and experiences. You’re not a robot! I emphasize this fact to help you realize you do not have to be ‘on’ all the time. I don’t think many people like to own this because it comes across as antisocial. But fucking be antisocial in the instances you are. This thing called life hits us with a rollarcoaster of challenges and emotions and I value a person that can rock a bad day. Feeling like crap? That’s alright. Toss in your headphones, go for a walk and realize you don’t owe anyone anything, you’ll absolutely exhaust yourself trying to be a social butterfly all of the time. Please make it necessary to own your humanness, I want to experience the authentic version of you so much more than whatever you’re pretending to be, even if that person is sometimes a bit of a grump.

2. Step away from the drama

Like small towns, small islands have their fair share of gossip. I wish I could say this wasn’t fact but it’s life, we all get off on a little shit talk once and a while, especially when it’s extra juicy. What I’ve noticed is that gossip can either be a very minuscule part of your life or it can take up its entirety. Pay attention to the company you keep, and remember how little all of this matters in the grand scheme of things. Most of all, be a nice person. My advice to you if you have trouble with this? Stay home.

3. More friends doesn’t always equal more happiness

I have lots of acquaintances here, I of course enjoy their company, but when I truly have some time and energy to share a bit of myself I want it to be with someone who I hope can truly reciprocate. When we put so much of ourselves into so many, I often feel we don’t have any real talks. I mean the big ones, like whether aliens exist or what your biggest heartache was. Of all the times in your life where it’s important to put effort into some legitimate friendships, this is one of them. A time when you’re surrounded by others who share some of your biggest interests, so take advantage of that. Quality means so much more than quantity. I have a handful of people who I believe know me very intimately and I love that, the rest just know I’m Canadian, I bartend, have freckles, glasses and get hurt a lot, it’s enough.

4. Never neglect your hobbies

Back in Canada I paint all the time. Nothing gets me off more than a warm cup of Tim Hortons out on the porch, just me, my Spotify playlist, a canvas and a box of acrylics. When I first visited Thailand I never made time for the little things in life I loved to do, I began to realize that actually greatly affected my peace of mind. So tailor your life accordingly. Some of my favourite days here are spent by myself, sat on the ground with a little sketch pad. Art is an essential part of my being and it’s unfair to deny my inner creative.

5. Never compare your wage to dollars

Unless you want to seriously depress yourself, don’t calculate how little money you’re making at your job. Here’s what I’ve come to accept – it’s shit. You are definitely working in many cases even harder here than at let’s say, your bartending job back home. You’re sweating your ass off, hardly seeing tips, dealing with an obnoxious amount of drunken idiots who often times don’t even speak your language, and you’re making about 30 times less than you would be in your home country. Ways I’ve come to justify this whole process is like so – consider where you get to work as an incentive. I’m getting paid not only in baht but in epic sunsets, warm ocean air and in crystal clear water. Also, consider how stir crazy you’d be without the position. My first year in Thailand I didn’t work at all, to fill the time when my friends were working, I’d shop or I’d go out to eat. I’d spend money purely out of boredom. This by definition is vacationing and it isn’t what I intended on doing my second or third time around. Also, look at work as an opportunity to make new friends and to feel purposeful in your day. You’re apart of a family now and that in itself is a humbling feeling. Finally, realize that on average, even though the wage itself seems quite awful, it’s enough to comfortably live off of. Sure you likely won’t be saving anything substantial, but if you’ve got steady enough hours, you shouldn’t be dipping into that emergency fund too often either.

6. Treat yo’self (on occasion)

I’ve experienced two very different extremes here. My first year I came with too much money, and it felt like everything was too easy, too attainable, that I wasn’t experiencing true Thai style living but instead a rather luxurious vacation (aside from the hostels). The second trip I had next to nothing, everyday was a struggle to eat and pay rent. I racked up tabs at nearly every bar that I eventually had to phone home to help pay them off. I wasn’t to the point of begpacking, I worked, but I wasn’t by any means living comfortably. I hated that I had to say no constantly, I wasn’t able to treat myself to anything. This time I’ve found the perfect compromise. Having come with just enough to dive here and there, enjoy an expensive meal now and then and having rent covered for the first few months of my trip, I’m content. I work to feed myself, pay for visa runs and on the odd occasion to enjoy a splurge, because what is life without a little indulgence?

7. Watch your favourite cartoons

I can’t really explain to you why this is important, just that it is. I can go from having an absolute mental breakdown, to finding peace, all during an episode of Archer. There’s something about familiarity that I believe to be a necessary and important part of our lives. Although everything in our outside world is ever changing (the wonderful permanence of life’s impermanence) there are a few things you have control over, and the blissful nostalgia you feel while watching a series of your favourite cartoons is one of them.

8. Play tourist now and then

There’s a reason one place is a more popular snorkelling site than the other, there’s a reason boat loads of people flock to Koh Nanguan to capture that perfect selfie. I find I try to avoid nbo’s (backpackers on the next boat out) at all costs, and that often puts me into a very set routine where I don’t do anything new. Suck up your pride every once and a while and play tourist, you’ll likely surprise yourself with how much fun you end up having.

9. Don’t forget about the outside world

Island fever is real, even the most beautiful oasis can start to feel old after a while. It’s very important to take trips off the island for your own sanity. I find even a short trip to Burma totally helps me reprioritize my life. It reminds me how much exists outside of myself, and that as much as I love it here, there are still so many places I hope to see.

10. Finally, don’t take yourself too seriously

You didn’t leave your boring 9 to 5 to be miserable, you came here to have fun. If you’re anything like me you’re here to, for the first time in a while, live rather than simply exist. Although situations may get difficult, you may find yourself doing a lot of eye rolling and sighing (even while writing this I’m thinking about losing it on the guy behind me on this ferry kicking my seat) things are only as dire as we make them. When in absolute doubt, go take a real deep breath by the ocean. Kick some saltwater around, squish your fingers in the sand and remember just how lucky you are to be here in this moment, right now.