Recently I’ve dissected life from every angle possible. Instead of moving forward, I’ve been slumped stagnant, not able to make the next choice because I’ve been so obsessed with what was wrong with the current ones.

“IS THIS WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE? Should I quit my job? Should we move back to Ontario? Is school the right decision? What’s going to happen if I do this and not that, how will I make money- blah blah blah”

Then I just quit my job, because you know what, from the get go that’s what my gut told me to do. The worst case scenario had already happened- I found myself where I ‘wasn’t supposed to be’. Something led me to try it at the time and that same something (my gut) led me onwards. Instead of relentlessly weighing pros and cons I should have followed that little guy (gut) from the get go. In these situations there’s only one question you have to ask yourself and you need to do it honestly ‘if I make this decision, do I feel a jolt of anxious, excited energy, or dread and reluctance?’

I think it took me so long to move forward because now that I’m relatively settled I’ve felt the need to ‘have my shit together’. Truth is, I don’t think there is such a thing. Maybe one day you wake up in a circumstance that makes you feel like ‘you’ve done it’, but sorry to burst your bubble… that feeling is temporary, because spoiler alert – everything is. Our emotions are fleeting, our experiences are always changing and we have this inherent attraction to the grass that’s opposite our own.

On the other side of the world, I’m confident in myself and in my plans. I’m happy to some extent of the word, but I don’t always feel like I have my shit together. Now while I’m settled, in a successful relationship, have the dog I’ve always wanted and I’m in school for a career I’ve always thought about, a part of me still longs for the sporadicalness, the high that comes with being a little lost while exploring. My single self longed for a deeper connection, my connected self longs for chaos.

So here’s what I guess I’m getting at. I don’t believe we need to aim for ‘shit together’ satisfaction, but instead we need to challenge the idea of ‘routine’. Routines are what’s boring. We have a world at our fingertips, and let’s be honest, we’re not likely to master just one career till we die anymore. Things are both amazing and tough for our generation, but embrace that. Embrace the one positive of job and housing INSECURITY- the fact we get to try a bunch of different things, be on a bunch of different yet equally interesting pursuits year in and year out.

What I want to avoid more than anything is to settle in ‘comfortable’. To get stuck, to follow through with one thing, grow bored of it, start to resent the period of time after. I think it’s more important now than ever to experience a plethora of stuff. The opportunities to reinvent yourself are endless, so take advantage of that. Try as much as you possibly can to do new things while remembering to indulge in the things you know you feel most passionate about. We could all sit here and overanalyze our path to the point of exhaustion or we could trust that gut to steer us straight. It knows what ‘sparks joy’ so put some trust in it.

Since there aren’t any instructions on how to be a successful adult, or at least I don’t think… if they do exist please forward them to me. Since there is absolutely no such thing as the ‘perfect’ life, a laundry list of ‘to do’s’ you need to check off before you’re an accomplished thirty, forty, fifty something, follow that gut instinct. Take chances, make a million mistakes, accept you’ll inevitably be faced with restlessness down the road because that’s life. Relish all the different opportunities this world has to offer you, and never get too comfortable.