First thing’s first, you are a SUPERSTAR and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

As someone who has done a few trips solo and now one with a partner, the difference in mental as well as physical load baring is substantial. This tiny trip has really made me value the fortitude I’ve had to have in the past. It’s made me reflect quite proudly on what it actually takes to travel as a solo female. From sketchy motels, to keeping yourself sane, going alone takes GUTS.

Anytime I’ve been asked ‘how I do it’ I’ve always brushed it off very humbly with an ‘anyone can’, but fact is, that’s not entirely true. It takes something special to accomplish what we do, balls, monstrous metaphorical cojones. There is a decent amount of plan preparation that takes place, alongside it is the obvious financial prep, and then a bit of je ne sais quoi is involved. You’ve got to jump into the unknown with a strong inner confidence assuring you you’ll be fine.

But before your adventure even begins, being able to restrain yourself is key.  Here’s the unfortunate bit, It’s nearly impossible to keep up an active social life, rock the latest trends and save for a trip simultaneously. This is where I see people fail the most, many can’t handle making the necessary lifestyle changes. My wardrobe went from stylish to scrubish when I planned for Thailand the first time. I worked my literal butt off the entire summer, slaving behind a hot paving truck and averaging 60 hour work weeks. I rarely (never) went out, and my free time consisted of trip prep. The second time, Australia, was just as much of a life suck to save for and even when I got there, to afford the expensiveness, I had to bust my butt yet again full time at a new job.

Then there’s courage, where things get impressive. You’ve just landed in a new country, alone, and you have to know you’re safe. The only person who can provide you that safety? Yourself. Things often don’t go as planned, and when they don’t there’s no shutting down. There’s no calling Mom when your bus collapses three hours from Bangkok, it’s something stupid am you’re a two Advil PM’s deep and left on the side of the road. You can’t manifest a big man friend to come argue with the taxi driver that insists on charging you an extra 1000 baht upon arrival to the airport. And unfortunately, no Canada Post is able ship the phone you left at the hostel on the other side of Koh Phangan because you didn’t want to miss your last ferry. It’s important to know with real certainty, when time’s get tough – YOU GOT THIS. You need to be clever and street smart, able to get from point a all the way to point z. Resiliency is imperative, and there’s a little “not to be fucked with” that must be worn around your neck at all times. Consider it a medal you’ve earned because you are a flippin’ badass.

Here’s the thing, I mean this in as kind a way as possible, not everyone can do what solo female travellers do. I’ve dealt with criticism, not so much from my family, but from my peers, and more specifically – my female friends. From mentally (sometimes even physically) checking out when I bring up a story, to a friendship dying very shortly after my departure flight. Looking back, I can tell you now, a lot of the blasé attitudes stemmed from an understandable amount of jealousy. And that’s ok! Not everyone is built this way. What I hope you take from this, as a solo traveller, is that you should be extremely proud of yourself. You’re a special breed of woman, a warrior, never forget it.